The year 2011 was a stellar year for me. I was able to successfully complete all the projects I planned: my new logo, my website, and my book, plus winning the Nuffnang Blog Awards in Malaysia for the Best Lifestyle Blog was a bonus!
Thank you Mia De Lara of Mobudays for my beautiful logo!
My logo
Thanks Dart and Mia for creating an awesome website! You guys are visionaries — zero headache, more fun! Working on my new site taught me new things and it helped me sharpen my “web” skills. I’m looking forward to a new and improved site!
My website
Thank you Xandra Ramos-Padilla of National Book Store for making my dream come true! This book is the start of a great partnership!
My book
Who knew? I’ve never won a local blog award nor have I been a member of Nuffnang’s ad, so you can imagine my surprise when my blog was nominated. What an honor! Competing with the best of the best bloggers in Asia and winning the Nuffnang Best Lifestyle Blog in Asia-Pacific made it even sweeter! This award has inspired me to improve and expand my website. Thank you Nuffnang! You guys rock!
Nuffnang Blog Awards winner of Best Lifestyle Blog in Asia-Pacific
Working on all those projects while attending to my family and working as a celebrity stylist was definitely a feat for me. I faced so many challenges, and sometimes heartaches, during my journey. It wasn’t easy but I wouldn’t have done it any other way. Life is precious; I make every moment count.
During a dinner party last December, a friend asked me, “With all the things you’ve done and with all your achievements, is there anything else you would like to do? How can you top everything you’ve done this year?” I thought that was a great question. It makes one appreciate life and at the same time makes you think of your next step. Without any hesitation my response to her query was, “Honestly, I feel like I’ve only just begun.”
It’s true. I’ve been working in the fashion industry for more than 10 years and I still feel passionate about everything I do. By staying hungry for my passion and my purpose to help others, it fuels me to continue my vision.
So, how does one “top last year’s projects”? My answer is simple: move forward. My goal is to better myself as a human being and work on projects I believe in. I learned in life that when you do things that you love, everything else (money, recognition, peace of mind) follows.
Here’s something to inspire all of us:
Steve Jobs Stanford Commencement Speech 2005
Sometimes when things don’t go our way or when we are faced with challenges in our lives, it is important to remember that there is always a reason for them not to happen. We might not realize what it is immediately but later on, just like what Steve Jobs said:
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well worn path; and that will make all the difference.”
Have faith. Believe in yourself. Be true. Be selfless.
Here’s to connecting the dots, staying hungry, and staying foolish.
Shopingero/shopingera, have you found what you love doing? If not, what steps are you taking to find it?
According to Urban Dictionary, a backhanded compliment is “an insult disguised as a complement”
Examples:
“I want to be just like you when I get old”; “You’re not as dumb as I thought.”
“You drive well for a woman!”
“Ang ganda mo…pag tulog!”
Winston Churchill was the master of backhanded complements. He had the perfect combination of sarcasm, wit, bittersweet praise, and disdain:
Female MP: “Winston, you’re drunk.”
Churchill: “Madame, you’re ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober”
Backhanded complement in other words is: “Laglag”
A long time ago, I used to serve backhanded complements at my former assistants and friends as a joke. None of them ever complained or at least not to my face.
Anyone who’s heard my backhanded remarks in the past can attest that I did it all in the name of fun. I didn’t mean to be mean or insult anyone — it was my kind of “cariño brutal“. I thought I was funny until I got “served” — everyone thought it was funny except me.
You really don’t know what it’s like, until it happens to you. Ever since I was given a backhanded complement, I’ve been more conscious about my own antics. I’m a loving person and I love cracking jokes but not to a point where I might hurt other people’s feelings. I want to remain honest but not tactless.
These days, I’m better at dealing with people who give backhanded complements. I just put my best smile on and say “thank you, that’s so nice of you! How sweet!”. I made the decision to let go. This did not come naturally at first, but I noticed that I felt better. I genuinely don’t care because I know that there are people in my life who genuinely like me and care about me. Those are the ones worth focusing my thoughts on.
You have to know who you are, what you stand for, and what your standards are in terms of what type of people you want in your life.
In case you’ve been a victim of backhanded complements, here’s an article I found on the Net that might help:
Even if you’re a thick-skinned person by nature…certain words sting.
Some of these words are intended to hurt, but most of them are offhanded remarks that simply weren’t thought through before they were spoken. Either way, these blunt comments can be hard to hear.
“She’s got some meat on her bones…but I think it’s sexy.”
“Your article was fantastic, considering it was your first attempt at the assignment.”
“She’s a great player – for a girl!”
Backhanded compliments are almost worse than a simple insult. An insult can instantly make you angry, but a sly remark can eat at you over time. We know better than to take these comments at face value, but as we analyze the remark, we start to question whether they really are true.
Most unintentional insults bring a woman face to face with her insecurities. Even the most confident and secure woman can be sent into a tailspin when her image, intelligence, competence or personality are attacked. Worse yet is when the insult comes on the heels of encouragement, which makes the statement even more personal. The power of words is so much greater than we assume!
Just like with a straight-up insult, resentment can start to brew if you harbor these words. Without properly responding to these thoughtless statements, you can harbor a lot of resentment for the person who tore you down after they built you up. I don’t know about you, but the last thing I want to deal with is a hefty dose of negativity floating around in my mind!
So how can you respond to backhanded compliments instead of just dropping your mouth in disbelief of the lack of tact some people seem to possess?
Fight the urge to retaliate. Regardless of how old or mature you are, there’s always going to be a quick impulse to lash out in response. It’s human nature to defend ourselves by deflecting the negativity towards someone else! Even though turning the cattiness around can seem vindicating, it never helped matters in middle school, and it won’t help anything as an adult.
Address it. I’ve got a bad habit of withdrawing and getting extremely quiet when I’m hurt. Not speaking up as often as I should has resulted in a lot of silent sulking in the past – and I can’t say that any of it was productive! I’ve learned that I can’t keep quiet and still expect others to understand that they did something that bothered me.
If someone makes a comment – intentional or otherwise – that insults or offends you, speak up! If the words were spoken inadvertently, letting the friend know that their humor was out of line can help them be more mindful of future comments – to you and to others. If the backhanded compliment was intended to be hurtful, you need to make it clear that you don’t tolerate that kind of communication. This can seem difficult if you’re non-confrontational, but setting boundaries and standing up for yourself gets easier with practice!
Refuse to harbor it. It’s so easy to lose precious hours wallowing in the aftermath of a petty comment. I’ve wasted hours working myself up over a ridiculous jab that wasn’t worth a single second of my time. Personal slams can easily make you question whether you’re good enough, and they’re incredibly hard to let go of once you start mulling over the words and trying to put meaning behind them.
Don’t play the words over and over in your head. Don’t entertain the five different connotations the comment might have had. Breathe in, shake it off, breathe out…and refuse to mull over it any further. Growing a thick skin is easier said than done, but deciding that the comment is purely insignificant in the grand scheme of things can help you let it go.
Do something to re-boost your self-esteem. At the end of the day, you are the only one who can make you feel better – or worse – about who you are. No comment – negative OR positive – can permanently change your perception of yourself.
If you’re reeling from a backhanded compliment, throw yourself into a favorite activity that you know makes you feel happy with who you are. Go volunteer at a charity that coincides with your personal passions, bust butt on a great workout or chat up a kind-hearted friend that always makes you smile.
Shopingero/shopingera, you can’t control what other people say or do, but you can control how you react to it. At the end of the day, you are the only person whose opinion matters.
I came across another helpful article from Tina Su. I couldn’t have read this at a better time! I’ve got so much on my plate this month that I need to prioritize.
Here’s a sample of the “Life Category List” what I’ve done:
Eto na naman po ang mahiwagang list!
This is dedicated to all the multitaskers, parents, and anyone who juggles life.
Do you ever feel like you have a hundred things to get done and not enough time to do half of them? We are all busy people, but sometimes we get so caught up with ‘catching all the falling plates’ that we sacrifice doing the things we really want to be doing, the things that align with our desires and contribute most to our personal well-being.
We sometimes make the mistake in thinking that we are ‘super human’ and will be able to juggle it all with great success. “No need to write it down. I can handle it!” As more tasks get piled on, soon we become bombarded by the thoughts of tasks yet to be completed. And this added pressure will distract us in ways that are counterproductive to our goals.
Not writing these tasks down is just part of the problem; even if we wrote it all down, what if several tasks are equally important or dependent on one another? How do we prioritize conflicting to-do’s? After all, we only have so many hours in a day.
How do we break out of this cycle helplessness caused by an overwhelming number of priorities waiting to get done? How can we better manage and execute the activities that matter to us, such that we feel empowered and in control?
Backgrounds: A Personal Story
The past few months have been a period of adjustment for me, as several changes in my life took place simultaneously – I left my day job, ended a relationship, moved into a new living arrangement, got a second dog, and traveled to remote western China. Marching through the jungle that has become my house, with the new puppy circling around my feet (biting everything in sight) and with many things still packed in boxes, I can’t help but to feel a little irritable, unsettling and unwell as I notice all the clutter covering every possible surface.
“It will take days, if not weeks to get this all sorted out and organized.” I would say to myself, each time I’m reminded that I really should be cleaning and de-cluttering my living space.
What I really want to focus on is my writing, that and potty-training the new dog. But, I feel conflicted. On one hand, it’s tough to focus on writing (or anything else) if my environment is cluttered. On the other hand, since cleaning and organizing will take ‘forever’, I’d rather spend the time writing first. And thirdly, I have another list of pending responsibilities and promises that needs to be fulfilled.
As a result, I do a little of everything that tugs at my attention, not getting very much accomplished. Observing myself, I felt bothered and a little helpless. Last week, I came to a breaking point, “I’ve had it!!” I said to myself, and proceeded to spend the next 3 hours with my nose buried in a notepad, pen scribbling at accelerated speeds – as I collected and re-arranged my thoughts on paper.
As a result, I came up with an organized solution to solve my problem. I felt instantly relieved and no longer helpless, because now… I had a plan!
Let me share it with you.
A Closer Look
Before diving into the solution which worked for me, let’s highlight some observations.
1. Behavioral Pattern
In my scenario above, my exterior clutter was preventing me from focusing on my passion. I felt hesitant to proceed, because I was unsure which to focus on first, they both seemed important to me. Not making significant progress with either priority left me feeling unbalanced and uneasy.
Another possible scenario of a similar pattern is: the long hours I need to put into work are preventing me from focusing on my health and building an exercise routine. I feel hesitant to start my exercise routine, because I don’t feel like I have enough time in the day. Yet, conflictingly, if I incorporated exercise in my day, I would have more energy and wouldn’t need as many hours at work.
It is not a matter of procrastination. It is the mental pressure of knowing that we need to do something which makes us hesitant to proceed, yet failing to proceed prevents us from doing something else that is a priority to us.
We all have different scenarios and things that when left uncompleted make us feel unwell. Maybe clutter doesn’t bother you. What is it for you? What, when left undone, affects your emotional wellbeing?
2. ‘Action Alone is Not Enough’
We may be moving about in the act of living a balanced life, yet we can still feel mentally cluttered. This is because, when we have many pending to-dos, it is important to dump them out of our heads, and to track them with a system we regularly review.
Planning is more important than just taking blind action.
3. ‘We’ll Never Have Enough Time’
When we’re busy and engaged in one area of our life, we tend to think that “we’ll have time someday” to do those things that really matter to us. But someday will never come if we do not consciously plan to integrate those things into our daily life. It quickly becomes just another excuse to prolong us from doing those things.
“Conditions are never perfect. ‘Someday’ is a disease that will take your dreams to the grave with you. If it’s important to you and you want to do it ‘eventually’, just do it and correct the course along the way.”
~ Tim Ferriss, 6 Step Solution to Manage Mental Clutter
It was really just a matter of dumping all the information I had lingering in my mental space, and organizing that dumped information in a cohesive fashion. Here we go!
Step 1: Brain Dump
List out all the tasks you need to do, which are running through your head right now. Write the list down (or type it out) as it comes to you. We don’t need to be complete with this step. This list just gives us an idea of the types of things that have been bothering us. The act of writing this list down also serves as a mental relief.
Step 2: Brainstorm Life Categories
Looking at the above list, come up with a list of categories or life areas that are important to us. The categories will encapsulate the items from the list and future tasks not yet on the list. Additionally, if we ignored any of the life areas, we would be left feeling unbalanced or unwell. For me, the life areas important to me right now are:
•Work – sample activities: Writing, emails, interview questions, etc.
•Personal Wellbeing – sample activities: meditation, reviewing goals/schedules/plans, reading something inspirational, exercise, etc.
•Household – sample activities: cleaning, organizing, training dogs, grocery shopping, paying bills, running errands, etc.
•Personal Projects – sample activities: working on my personal blog, sorting travel pictures, learning hobbies (salsa dancing, language skills), budget & financial planning, etc.
Step 3: Understanding Each Category
For each life area, use a new sheet of paper.
•At the top of the page, write “Life Area: “, where is the name of the life area.
•Title the first half of the page “General Tasks“
•Title the second half of the page “Pending Task List“
•In the first section, General Tasks, list in bullet points all the possible activities that would fall into this category. For example, for my Life Area: Work, some activities include:
•Answering emails
•Creating new articles
•Advertising inquires
•Site improvement and updates
•Accounting
•Reviewing and Setting Monthly Goals
In the second section, Pending Task List, list in bullet points all the current to-do tasks that you can think of that would fall into this category. Take this opportunity to move the mental reminders out of your head and onto paper. For example, my Life Area: Work, includes some of the following:
•Complete interview question for person X
•Get back to Y company with the requested Bio and Picture
•Complete the article on topic Z which I started last week
Do this for each life area from step 2. Feel free to use more paper if you run out of room. Keep the list as visually organized as possible. The point of this exercise is three fold:
•To clear up mental clutter, by moving all the self reminder thoughts onto paper.
•It’s easier to track and manage tasks when it’s all laid out in front of us.
•To see which life area has the most pending to-dos, thus requiring more time and attention.
Step 4: Budget Time for Each Category
•Daily Estimate – Look at your daily habits and schedule, how many hours a day will you have in total to devote to all of these areas? Example, my productive day generally goes from 10am to 8pm, which gives me 10 hours a day devoted to the life areas. The remaining 14 hours is for other activities such as sleeping, commuting, eating, watching TV, doing nothing.
•Weekly Estimate – 10 hours x 7 days = 70 hours a week to divide up between the four areas of my life that’s important to me.
•Budget Workable Hours – Review each of the life areas and its pending tasks from step 3. •Estimate how much time to give it, on a weekly basis. From looking at my own lists, I know that the area of Household has priority, since there’s a lot that needs to be done and not doing them affects my sense of wellbeing and my work; thus I should give it more time. My weekly budget at the moment looks something like this for each of my four life areas:
•Household – 20 hours
•Work – 25 hours
•Personal Projects – 15 hours
•Personal Wellbeing – 10 hours
•Daily Breakdown – Roughly estimate how many hours a day to give each life area on a daily basis. It helps to draw out a table, with days of the week along the top row and life area names along the left column. My estimate looks something like this:
•Weekdays: Work 5 hours, Household 2 hours, P. Project 2 hours, P.Wellbeing 1 hour.
•Weekends: Household 5 hours, P.Project and P.Wellbeing 2-3 hours each.
Step 5: Doing
As we are going about our day working on each of the life areas, flip to the page for that life area and pick the item under Pending Task List that has the highest priority to do first.
When working on one task. Focus completely on that task. If more to-do reminders come to mind, add them instantly into the Pending Task List for the appropriate life area.
Step 6: Tracking
Refer to your time budget several times throughout the day. Remember to be flexible. Nothing is set in stone. The time budget is there to help us as a guide, not as an unbreakable schedule. Take note how much time you are spending in each life area, and adjust appropriately.
Remember to be gentle with yourself. Notice all the improvements you’ve made and how much better you feel.
As we change, so will our priorities. Make sure to revisit our time budgets regularly and update time devoted to each of the life areas, as our life situation changes.
Thank you Juan Sarte for this! Alam mo naman, Skwez, bet na bet ko ang mga ganitong positivity chenes!
I feel emotional today because I’m currently going through some stress in my life. Something about work. I hope everything gets ironed out. It’s an amazing and fun project. I pray to God everything falls into place.
Please pray for me.
Reading this makes me feel better… hopeful.
Instructions for Life by The Dalai Lama:
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three R’s:
- Respect for self,
- Respect for others and
- Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
The Dalai Lama
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
20. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. Source
Kaya ko ‘to… kaya natin ‘to!
Shopingero/shopingera, print this on paper and tack it on your wall. Peg na ‘to for life!
I’m sure a lot of us look forward to a fresh start in life and resolve to improve our lives. However, sometimes, the problem with the start of a new year is that most good intentions are often derailed within the first few weeks. Tao lang poh.
Make 2012 the year you make good on your New Year’s resolutions. From experience, I list down all my goals and map out a plan on how to achieve them. It’s easy to follow through when your thoughts and strategies are written down.
Here are my top 10 New Year’s resolutions:
1. Organize, organize, organize. I’m a Virgo so organization is vital to my existence. My goal this year is to get rid of unnecessary clutter. As of now, our home is 70% clutter-free. I still have several balikbayan boxes filled with garage sale items that I have to sell. I just need someone to organize the garage sale… in Makati… anyone?
By the end of the year, I want zero clutter.
Living in a condo has taught me how to maximize small spaces and edit stuff.
2. Improve and upgrade our space. This year is all about “Maison Epperson”.
As Lanvin (CHOZ!) is my witness, I will finally buy (or have one made-to-order) my dream bar cart this year!
3. Go digital! This coincides with my first resolution. If there’s one thing I am attached to in my life right now, it would have to be my magazines. My office houses shelves filled with fashion magazines that I have accumulated over the years. It has gotten out of control. I am still mustering the willpower to let go of them. I’m getting stressed just thinking about it, but I know I have to do it.
The iPad 2 that Century Tuna gifted me will be my new “bookshelf”.
Thanks again Century Tuna!
Books are a different story. I love leafing through paper!
4. Keep the weight off. After losing more than 10 lbs. (thank you Dr. Z and Dr. Aivee Teo!), it’s all about maintenance. I am going to eat smaller meals throughout the day rather than a few big ones. Portion control is King!
More about Dr. Aivee Teo's diet soon! Tune in!
5. Drink more tea. Studies show drinking tea regularly is healthy and has lots of benefits.
“The work in the European Journal of Clinical Nutrition dispels the common belief that tea dehydrates.
Tea not only rehydrates as well as water does, but it can also protect against heart disease and some cancers, UK nutritionists found.
Experts believe flavonoids are the key ingredient in tea that promote health.
They found clear evidence that drinking three to four cups of tea a day can cut the chances of having a heart attack.”
6. Travel. I need more inspiration.
I want to "fly"!
7. Live life with a purpose. This will be my mantra: “I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be honorable, to be compassionate. It is, after all, to matter: to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all.” — Leo Rosten
8. To engage more with my amazing readers, my “Team JENNIration”, and Twitter followers. You guys inspire me to no end! I want to be more attuned to your opinions and suggestions.
9. Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize. I have dry skin. From here on, I will make it a habit to moisturize daily, drink lots of water (and tea), and take Vitamin E.
I also need to upgrade my skin care regimen.
My current favorite: Avon Anew Rejuvenate with SPF
10. See life from a grateful point of view. The perils of being a “one woman show” is that life can sometimes be stressful. I believe that the way to combat stress is to focus on your blessings. When life throws you lemons, be glad that they’re not as hard as stones. Aray.
The New Year’s has always been a time for looking back to the past, and more importantly, forward to the coming year. It’s a time to reflect on the changes we want (or need) to make and resolve to follow through on those changes.
Remember: Start strong, start beautiful, just “start”!
Wishing everyone an abundant and amazing year! Happy New Year everyone!
Shopingero/shopingera, please feel free to share your top 10 New Year’s resolution in the comments box.
It is now the end of 2011 — an ideal time to reflect and meditate.
Siargao. Photo by Tom Epperson
While looking for inspiration, I came across Tina Su’s article about “Life on Purpose”. I also love Tina’s profile: “Tina Su is a mom, a wife, a lover of Apple products and a CHO (Chief Happiness Officer) for ‘Think Simple Now’. She is obsessed with encouraging and empowering people to lead conscious and happy lives.”
Because sharing is caring:
15 Questions to Discover Your Life Purpose
The following are a list of questions that can assist you in discovering your purpose. They are meant as a guide to help you get into a frame of mind that will be conducive to defining your personal mission.
Simple Instructions:
•Take out a few sheets of loose paper and a pen.
•Find a place where you will not be interrupted. Turn off your cell phone.
•Write the answers to each question down. Write the first thing that pops into your head. Write without editing. Use point form. It’s important to write out your answers rather than just thinking about them.
•Write quickly. Give yourself less than 60 seconds a question. Preferably less than 30 seconds.
•Be honest. Nobody will read it. It’s important to write without editing.
•Enjoy the moment and smile as you write.
15 Questions:
1. What makes you smile? (Activities, people, events, hobbies, projects, etc.)
2. What are your favorite things to do in the past? What about now?
3. What activities make you lose track of time?
4. What makes you feel great about yourself?
5. Who inspires you most? (Anyone you know or do not know. Family, friends, authors, artists, leaders, etc.) Which qualities inspire you, in each person?
6. What are you naturally good at? (Skills, abilities, gifts etc.)
7. What do people typically ask you for help in?
8. If you had to teach something, what would you teach?
9. What would you regret not fully doing, being or having in your life?
10. You are now 90 years old, sitting on a rocking chair outside your porch; you can feel the spring breeze gently brushing against your face. You are blissful and happy, and are pleased with the wonderful life you’ve been blessed with. Looking back at your life and all that you’ve achieved and acquired, all the relationships you’ve developed; what matters to you most? List them out.
11. What are your deepest values?
Select 3 to 6 (See list of words to help you | list in pdf) and prioritize the words in order of importance to you.
12. What were some challenges, difficulties and hardships you’ve overcome or are in the process of overcoming? How did you do it?
13. What causes do you strongly believe in? Connect with?
14. If you could get a message across to a large group of people. Who would those people be? What would your message be?
15. Given your talents, passions and values. How could you use these resources to serve, to help, to contribute? ( to people, beings, causes, organization, environment, planet, etc.)
Your Personal Mission Statement
“Writing or reviewing a mission statement changes you because it forces you to think through your priorities deeply, carefully, and to align your behaviour with your beliefs” – Stephen Covey, ‘7 Habits of Highly Effective People’
A personal mission consists of 3 parts:
What do I want to do?
Who do I want to help?
What is the result? What value will I create?
Steps to Creating Your Personal Mission Statement:
1. Do the exercise with the 15 questions above as quickly as you can.
2. List out actions words you connect with.
a. Example: educate, accomplish, empower, encourage, improve, help, give, guide, inspire, integrate, master, motivate, nurture, organize, produce, promote, travel, spread, share, satisfy, understand, teach, write, etc.
3. Based on your answers to the 15 questions. List everything and everyone that you believe you can help.
a. Example: People, creatures, organizations, causes, groups, environment, etc.
4. Identify your end goal. How will the ‘who’ from your above answer benefit from what you ‘do’?
5. Combine steps 2-4 into a sentence, or 2-3 sentences.
If you enjoyed this article, please pass it on to others. Follow Tina Su on Facebook and Twitter.
Fat is out. No, this is a campaign tagline. It’s the law — Japan law.
Japan's Metabo Law
In 2008, Japan’s Ministry of Health passed the ‘metabo’ law and declared war against obesity by measuring the country’s waistline. Their intent is to curb the rise of metabolic syndrome, a number of factors that lead to diabetes and cardiovascular disease including obesity, high blood pressure, high glucose levels and cholesterol. By keeping metabolic syndrome in check, the government hopes to stall the ballooning health care costs of their aging population.
In recent decades, concerns over rising rates of obesity and related metabolic diseases in developing countries have increased. Many of these countries are witnessing a growing aging population with decreasing birth rates, foreshadowing a costly future for health systems faced with supporting the declining elderly without the backing of a youthful workforce. Management of chronic disease such as diabetes, hypertension and other metabolic syndromes will compound these costs. Globally, current health policy is being re-examined and interventions to reduce the incidence of metabolic disease in the coming years are being implemented, but none are more radical than Japan’s ‘metabo law’, a law that requires men to maintain a waist line less than 33.5 inches and women less than 35.4 inches.
If you’re following me on Twitter, you would remember this:
"All is calm, all is bright"
I posted this photo on Instagram after I ran at the park. I took a snapshot of the Ayala Triangle Gardens’ light and sound show as I could already feel the spirit of Christmas. There was a big crowd at the show but I felt peaceful and happy. Calm. But that did not last…
When I got home, this welcomed me in the living room:
A gift from W/17's Kaye Tinga
The chicest gift wrapper! Ever!
Love the W/17 wax mark sticker!
As some of you may know, a few days ago, I was invited by some of Manila’s loveliest housewives to view Andy Vasquez-Prada and Kaye Tinga‘s W/17 Home store.
Thanks Mons Romulo and Kaye Tinga!!! Looking forward to our next "merienda" chuchu!
During lunch, Mons, Kaye, and I had a conversation on how hot Gwyneth Paltrow is:
Me: “I love Gwyneth Paltrow! Did you know that she works out 2 hours a day, 6 days a week to achieve her body?” Kaye and Mons: “Really! Kaya pala ang sexy n’ya!” Me: “She is able to eat carbs and not gain weight because she works out everyday! Have you read her cookbook? I’ve tried her recipes!” Kaye: “I have her book. My daughter and I lined-up for four hours to have our books autographed by her!” Me: “WHAT??? GWYNETH SIGNED YOUR BOOK??? Do you know that I begged National Book Store if they could have my book signed as a birthday gift to me???” Kaye: “Yeah! My daughter has a signed cookbook!” Me: @.@
Kaye Tinga and her daughter Kerry lined-up for four hours to get Gwyneth Paltrow's autograph! FOUR hours!
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!! *faints*
*jumps for joy* *head bangs* *fist pumps* Cue music: “Paradise” by Coldplay
Thank you Kaye and Kerry for my signed copy of Gwyneth Paltrow’s ‘My Father’s Daughter” cookbook!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@.@ Pinch me please. @.@
Dearest Kaye and Kerry,
I am speechless but I will try to write how I feel.
You have no idea how happy you’ve made me! None! I am overjoyed to say the least! The exclamation points are a testament to how much I love and appreciate your thoughtful gift! From the bottom of my heart, thank you!!!
With Kaye’s permission, here’s what she wrote on the gift card:
God is good!
According to Kaye, she told her daughter Kerry about me. It was Kerry’s idea to give me the extra signed copy of Gwyneth’s cookbook! Thanks Kerry! Your parents brought you up well! Haha! Thanks!!!
Now, I need to work on getting Jamie Oliver’s, Martha Stewart’s, and Oprah’s autographs!
I was thinking that since Halloween is just around the corner, this is the perfect time to get to know (or maybe realize if you are one) what emotional vampires are.
Warning: Emotional vampires are more terrifying than ghouls and goblins! They are people who can suck you dry; emotionally.
I have met a few in my life and I honestly believe that they are not aware of it. Sometimes people are so used to having drama in their lives, that when life seems to be steady and calm, they look for the theatrics in life. I get it. I actually find some drama queens to be such characters but there is a limit to such spectacles.
I’m not one to judge, God knows I have my moments, but being aware of it is key.
Emotional vampires come in various shapes and sizes. Despite the several sub-types, one factor that they all have in common is that you feel emotionally drained after spending time with them. Besides feeling drained, they often take up your time and in some cases money as well. Emotional vampires tend to run in families. If you encounter one, you will want to avoid it and their family members as well.
Some emotional vampires have money. Those with money often use their money as a lure to entice you into their power. Once you are caught in their power they will take the life out of you. In the case of those with money, they will use your desire for money and greed as a way of keeping you in their clutches. They will use not only money, but also drugs, sex, secrets and anything else to have something on you in order to keep you in their control. “You owe me” is a frequently heard phrase coming from these types.
Some people use the term emotional vampires. Other terms used are ‘users’ and ‘takers’. We often have a sense about these types although there are different names for them depending on our experiences with them.
Emotional vampires are dangerous to your emotional and physical health
What are the types of emotional vampires?
The first type is the needy, helpless type. The needy persons often play the helpless role in an effort at getting you to take action. They often interact with a passive way of taking action. They ‘suggest’ or ‘ask’ for what they want from you. Sometimes it is direct, sometimes it is indirect. Whether direct or indirect, they know what they want. For example, if they want a glass of tea. They may make a comment that they are thirsty, or ask you for a glass of tea directly. When I think of this type I often see those large eyed cats that often look so pitiful and helpless.
Another type is the depressed vampire. These are the ones that move slowly. Sometimes they make sounds of struggle as part of their routine. They make every day look like it is a struggle for them. These are easily recognized. They often say very negative things and seem to energize themselves by cutting down and talking about others. They often have a long term frown on their face. When there is laughter it is often forced and almost a cackle rather than genuine belly-jostling laughter. Due to their extreme depressed mood, they often suck the life energy out of you and everything in the room. I have seen these types suck the life out of electric fans and other inanimate objects as well. You can feel these types when they enter a room.
The worst is the necrophilia type. This type is the depressed vampire on steroids. They take depression to a new low. This type does not enjoy life at all, They often talk about their losses, and surround themselves with somber music or even the lack of music. Their rooms are often morgue like, with photos and mementos of life that no longer exists. They items they have reminded them of their losses rather than the happy times they had. When they review their lives, they recall the mistakes, deaths and losses. They talk about death and how life itself is a struggle. If you listen to them, there are often themes of ‘revenge’ or talking about how people do not deserve things. It is this morbid aspect that separates them from the depressed type. Goths may look scary, but these types of persons actually do take the life and enjoyment of life out of you.
Emotional Vamipres belittle and backbite and drive us batty with their soul-sucking behavior.
How to deal with them
1. Set boundaries. Know ahead of time how far you will go with people. Do not let them violate your boundaries. When they hook you into a crisis, they often violate your boundaries or force you to compromise so that the guilt from compromising your values can be used as leverage against you.
2. Pay attention to your gut feelings. If you gut tells you to stay away, listen to it. When you sense the draining of energy, do not ignore the sensation. The good Lord gave you those sensations in order to protect you from such types of people.
3. Learn how to turn away from guilt. When you can not be hooked, they do not have any power over you. Remember they only have the power that you give them. The more you give into them, the stronger the hold they have on you. Don’t feel guilty if they have hurt feelings.
4. Surround yourself with life and lively things. Listen to lively music dress lively and so forth. Make it a point to enjoy life. Since emotional vampires avoid life and liveliness like the plague, use it to re-energize yourself and keep them away. Rather than garlic, the thing that keeps away these types of vampires is liveliness.
5. Move a lot. Activities like dancing are invigorating. The despondency that often accompanies emotional vampires tends toward extreme passivity the antidote to that passivity is activity and lots of it.
What are their methods?
It is not unusual for emotional vampires to be in crisis and have ways of ‘hooking’ you into their crisis. Once hooked a kind of bonding takes place. Since you went through a crisis with them, they expect you to stay with them. You may hear themes of how only you could understand them, or how only you can help them. There will be other comments of how you are the exception to miserable world in which they live.
Besides crises, they often use crying episodes as another hook. The crying or threat of crying often creates guilt feelings in their victims. True guilt occurs when you violate a moral principle or law. In dealing with them you have broken no law or principle, they want you to feel like you owe them something. Some family structures used guilt as a motivator in raising their children. Children raised in such homes are often more vulnerable to these emotional vampire types.
Have you met a drama queen or are you one yourself?
Emotional Vampire: One who in their life continually creates chaos and drama that leaves them in the victim role in order to extract sympathy and attention from others. Once successful in finding a sympathetic person, they will latch onto that person and continually exhaust all energy and emotion to feed their own insatiable hurting soul.
Do you know an emotional vampire? Do you have a friend or family member who always leaves you feeling tired and drained after talking? Do you avoid answering the phone or a knock on the door for fear of having to endure your friend’s newest problem? Well you came to the right place for answers. You will find 7 signs to look for that will help you determine if there is an emotional vampire in your life.
1) Do you know someone who when you met them you were mesmerized, they were fun and exciting to be around, you had never met anyone you just clicked that well with before, and then suddenly you noticed yourself going to great lengths to avoid that person?
EV’s are very charismatic people. They often look for victims who they can relate to or share same interests with. Once a bond has been established their true colors start to show, as you have now become a constant energy supplier to their insatiable hunger for energy and emotion.
2) Do you feel exhausted and sleepy after having been around a particular person?
EV’s often leave their victims feeling lifeless and drained after a visit. Some EV’s are so incredibly good at draining their victims they can actually absorb the energy over the phone. If you have a particular person whom every time you encounter them they leave you feeling tired and depressed, they just might actually be an EV.
3) Do you avoid answering the door or phone so that you don’t have to deal with a particular person? Have you found yourself actually trying to find a good lie to cut the unwanted visit or conversation short?
EV’s are such unwanted guests that the victims will go to great lengths to avoid contact with them. If you are finding yourself doing these things, the person whom you are trying to avoid just might be an EV.
4) Do you find yourself wondering about someone at different times of the day, and being angry that you even care what is going on since you really don’t like that person anyways, after all they live in “drama” all the time and you are quite frankly tired of hearing about it all?
Most likely that person is an EV and you are doing your job as they hoped you would by releasing energy and emotion to them. The sheer fact that you give their life and situations a moment’s thought is a continual bond for them to feed from.
5) Do you have a relationship with a person that you have tried to end but just can’t seem to get them to go away? You have asked them to not call or visit you and have expressed that you really are tired of all their drama, yet even if they do leave you alone, in a week or two you call to check up on them?
As you have probably figured out on your own EV bonds are very hard to sever. They are such masters at manipulation that once you are drawn in, they can weave such a bond that even when you have vowed to end the relationship, you find yourself making contact out of guilt. This web of emotional attachment has been skillfully weaved by a EV and may contain many subtly planted triggers including a sense of guilt or shame for even considering severing ties with them. This cycle can repeat over and over and the EV will never tire of the “game”.
6) Unfortunately the very people you should be able to trust and love can actually be sucking/draining the emotional life out of you. Is someone in your family constantly criticizing you? Taking advantage of you, borrowing something but never returning it? Expects you to take care of the details to all family matters? Uses the “but were family” line to get what they want? If you answered yes two at least two of those statements then you have an EV in your family circle.
EV can be all around us, and the most draining ones we encounter are actually members of our family. They are the most difficult to sever ties with as they will go to grave lengths to keep that bond in place, including threatening to alienate you from the rest of the family. They often have so many family members under their spell that this threat seems a very valid reality and the fear of seclusion will cause you to submit and allow yourself to be victim to their vicious and exhausting energy drains.
7) Do you know someone who is very knowledgeable yet you know was not well educated? Do you know a person who has an extraordinary artistic talent yet they don’t seem to be cultivating it to its full potential? Do you know someone who is deeply devoted to religious beliefs that they respond with religious quotes
